Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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