so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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