Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Randomize
