So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
