drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
