just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Randomize
