Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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