In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
i think i just lost a toe
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
