She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize