"it" just moved
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
