I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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