when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
