Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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