my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
