Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
