Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize