You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
where does the pee come out of this thing
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
