pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
