Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
