Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
