dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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