Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
