I didn't shave. On purpose
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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