guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
i've created a new STD.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
