Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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