Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
