so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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