Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
