Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
