No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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