if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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