she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
