He had one of those small greek statue penises
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
