no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I cut my penus on the lid.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
She bit a glass in half.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Shame - the story of my life.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize