i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
