I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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