think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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