google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
