I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
