brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize
