So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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