ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
