Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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