I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
