I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
