he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize