god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
