making cat noises will not fix the situation.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
