god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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