I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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