I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize