Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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