After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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