I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
