mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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