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• (713): View more from Texas

  Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.

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• (315): View more from New York

  I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?

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• (469): View more from Texas

  After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.

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• (415): View more from California

  The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns

  (404): View more from Georgia

  AND YOU SAID NO?????????

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