I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
