come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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