Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
