I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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