If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
