These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
