I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
