It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
last night I used snow as a chaser
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